Good Girl Gone Bad

I used to think that being a good girl was the only admirable thing I could be. I truly and honestly thought that good girls were honored and sanctified with Black Card Access to wherever mystical utopia was on the other side of committing to the great cause of being “good", "pure", and "perfect" .


I can’t blame myself for valuing this concept and in turn operating accordingly.  The world only wants “good” girls. It makes that very clear. It asks that we teach them young and implore that they only value your worth when you’re “good.” It's the unspoken code of being a girl and woman in society. The girl who does not dare defy the accepted cultural femininity and fragility that is pervasive with complementing and most times supporting hyper-masculinity, misogyny, and sexism. 

Being a good girl means suppressing a lot.
— Jennifer Jason Leigh


Walk this way, talk this way, dress this way, don’t be too assertive or aggressive, smile ( ALL THE DAMN TIME), don’t create conflict (even if necessary for change), know your place , take on the burden of making everyone else feel good..FIRST. I can share countless examples and nuances that promote the naïve and highly dangerous critique and instruction that young girls and women are programmed to abide by.


YES, some aspects of being “good” are noteworthy. I’ll be good if that means that I am kind, helpful, loving, and I am authentic to the divine nature I was intended to be.  I’ll be good if that means I am choosing to be the best for ME and in turn magnifying and reflecting those wonderful attributes with those around me.  I’ll be good if being good means that my essence is that opposite of asshole. I mean aspiring to be an asshole makes you sort of an...asshole.  (Yes, I said that!)


So in my current chapter of life, I have realized that being good is not all girls and women are intended to be. We are so much MORE.  And by subscribing to this menial persona, we limit ourselves greatly. Playing it safe and never taking risks, entertaining and masquerading inauthentic selves, and staying clear of conflict that can be refining and necessary in our self-development and growth.

We need to be BAD.

Bad in that we are willing to go against the grain, are willing to break strongholds and ceilings,  are asserting our power and resisting complacency, are commanding in our presence, and are confident in choosing the road less traveled. Bad in the way we decide to reinvent ourselves and live out are truest and best selves.

Let’s be bad. Real Bad.  JANET Jackson. And like the great Bajan goddess Robyn Rihanna Fenty instructed in her coming of age album, Let all the Good Girls Go Bad.